An owned sub (#2) said he wanted to learn the "lore" of one of my first subs – as if I assigned him this story as part of his training. To be fair, I do have a story there. He was not only my first video session, but also my first time dealing with sub drop, and my first quitter, with whom I still talk more than two months later. Yet, since he was never an ‘owned’ sub, I have no other way to really refer to him except as sub #0. Since I’m still a baby domme, you could call him a formative part of my childhood. Because of this, my interactions with him figure prominently in how I think about findom, submissives, findom addiction, etc.
Like I said before, I dislike phrases like "relapse for me" and "you can't quit findom so just send already". I don’t do that on Twitter, and that’s definitely not something I would say to someone I consider a friend (a “friend” in that bizarre, I don't know his name, but I've seen him do and say some wild stuff way). He told me he didn't enjoy findom, but he made himself like it because it was related to something he enjoyed (femdom). My offer was to give him a session if he felt needy and weak, so that he wouldn't relapse with a less kind domme. He's like a cow or a breastfeeding mother, he’ll suffer if he’s not milked once in a while. (By the way, I mean milk purely metaphorically.)
A couple days later, and with some free time at home alone, he let me know he was interested. Having become friends, the dynamic has changed a bit - we chatted about nothing for so long (like two hours) that he told me time was running out. That irritated me. "I don't care what you want, just take off your clothes," I said. There is an instinct in submissives that tells them when to start following orders, and I don’t think you lose that. And it turns out, we did have enough time for a milking.
It was cathartic for me, too, because I could get out things I had actually thought when he first went missing after a session, then he came back to say he was quitting findom. I knew you'd be back, you absolutely moron. I was so new at the time. Why do you make me feel guilty, when you found me? This is your fault. You wanted this, right? I also discovered you could have a friendly, sometimes argumentative friendship with a sub, but still have an unequal power dynamic when needed. That helps me a lot as I get to know sub #2.
I had one awkward session with #2, starting with the fact that I rarely do voice-only sessions (they are my least favorite). My actual voice, which I warned him was girlish, surprised him. I'm not a baritone! Moreover, I was in full bitch mode, which made him even more flustered. Even so, we're watching movies together so that he can get used to talking with me.
I also had what I consider to be the New York Marathon of sessions with an unowned sub. He is so shy and innocent and inexperienced, he couldn’t even type out his kinks because he didn’t want to offend me. I had to have him fill out a form. He also wouldn’t mark any definite no’s or unambiguous yes’s, just in case he picked something that didn’t agree with me. Corruption is one of my favorite things, so naturally I was intrigued. We spent the next week mostly talking about the NBA, and after many discussions about past Knicks, Rockets, OKC, and Nets lineups, nine days of no cumming, and one three-hour session later (all via text), I finally got him to talk dirty. I feel like Eve in the Garden of Eden, handing over a jizz-filled apple to my horndog mate!
How it started vs. How it's going.
OH, HOT TAKE: WAS MANKIND’S FIRST RELATIONSHIP A FLR?
“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Then the Lord God said it is not good to leave man alone, for he is weak, and needs another to degrade him while he spills his seed upon his tongue, with his ass pointed to the heavens.”
(As an aside I talk with subs about the NBA a lot.)
Of course the ironic thing is that even though these above sessions are fun, they are not as short, effortless, and profitable as pure wallet drains. Wallet drains are too easy. Like, a lot of you truly are humanATMs, you hand out cash and you have the personality of a paper receipt. I appreciate that you’re super easy though. Really. I would do a whole post about you if there was anything to say. Even video JOI and drain sessions are boring with most humanATMS, because you really do have the smallest dicks in the findom game. There’s no go fast, or slow, since basically you’re just pinching your whole penis. Shoot into your own mouth? You would have to be the Steph Curry of catch-and-swallow, you’re doing the equivalent of shooting from the tunnel.
Speaking of practice, even though he’s done with findom, Subzero said he would do two hours of various task and punishment ideas that I want to try out. That soon is not soon enough for me. I’m just so dedicated to self improvement. All these ideas are safe, legal, and since we’re crossing international borders, they only violate a teeny part of the Geneva Conventions.
