Did it take you that long to realize you were the third wheel on our date, not your best friend?
Your delusion must have lasted the whole night... that's why you kept paying for everything.
You didn't figure out until we had the Uber drop you off first.
Then you stared at the app as the car made just one more stop for him and me.
Thanks for putting his ride this morning on your account too.
You may not be a real man, but he and I agree, you're such a sweet friend.